"You look like an orange attached to a popsicle stick"

and he wasn't lying! This is what my dad said to me when he saw me in the hospital.  I was weighing the least I had weighed since fifth grade, but had the biggest head on the block (and no, not the confidence kind of big head).  This large head can also be known as "moon face" and happens when one is placed on a very high dose of a nice little nasty drug: prednisone.  By the point this picture was taken in June 2016, I had been on 60mg of prednisone since January, 14 days of liquid food, and had my colon removed.  If that won't alter how your body looks I don't know what will!

This blog post is to show you when life gives you lemons (oranges in this case) you have to make lemonade/ limoncello; whichever you prefer!  I won't lie at the time I really had no idea how large my head actually looked on my little body.  If I did, I may not have been as strong as I was at that time.  It's hard enough being a 20 year old girl.  Every girl struggles from body image issues even if they like to say they don't! AND did  I forget to mention IT WAS PEAK BATHING SUIT SEASON? Yup, I forgot to mention it but I am telling you now because just when you thought it couldn't have gotten any worse for this girl with no colon IT DID.

However, I didn't let it stop me. As you can see, I still went out there and strutted my little heart out in this new chubbies bathing suit my mom had got for me for when I got out of the hospital. For those of you who knew me at this time, you can also see my blue hair I also decided I needed to be the next Kylie Jenner..

All jokes aside, while I was still my sassy self on the outside, on the inside I remember feeling very unfamiliar with my own body.  I did not by any means hate it as I knew it was a product of all I had just went through, but I sure as hell did not love it.  I was used to being an all season athlete, cheering and dancing every day of my life, but this summer would be different.  This summer of 2016 I did not have my usual strong athletic "beach body," but I had A body. Three weeks earlier I was in the hospital fighting for my life, so being alive  in whatever shape or form my body decided was all my family and I were happy about at the time.

I tell you this story to make you think (and hopefully chuckle).  Everyone goes though some form of body consciousness, but next time you are so hard on yourself think of this girl.  This 20 year old girl who went out in her bathing suit, with her blue hair, and with her orange sized head not being able to do anything about it. This body was the product of a very hard and long journey.  It wasn't perfect, but it was mine.  As much as I did not love it, I was proud of it, and most importantly just happy to be alive.

I couldn't have gotten though the summer of 2016, however, without the love and support of my friends.  I would like to give a shout out to my very special friend Kara who spent 2 hours of her life that day blowing me up this float just so I could put my little popsicle stick body inside of it for all of five minuets before I got tired.  She did it with a smile.  With that said, I would just like to mention no matter what the situation, life is easier with the ones who love you by your side.

Peace out summer "beach body" of 2016.  I didn't hate you, but I'm VERY happy to never have to see you again!